Like most girls who grew up in the late 90's-early 2000's, I idolized Carrie Bradshaw and Andi Anderson. These fictional characters seemed so real to me. They were raw, fiercely independent, creative women who romanticized every aspect of their life and turned it into stories for a mass audience. I wanted to be them. Hell, they may be responsible for my Mass Communications degree. And I still feel a fictional kinship to them now even decades after watching both How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days and Sex and the City for the first time.
I have a feeling that the creators of these masterpieces, probably didn't intend on doing this - but Carrie and Andi made me believe that you can't have a cool life without an extremely cool job. Think about it, both of them lived their life to the fullest and put their heart on their sleeves over and over again just to spill every vulnerable, embarrassing, heartbreaking detail to complete strangers. Their adventures and challenges were truly insane! And they somehow managed to immediately get in front of a laptop and share it all with the world. Their gut-wrenching honesty was met with immediate rewards like tickets to fashion week, run-ins with celebrities, magazine covers, local fame and professional advancements.
So why wouldn't I do the same? Go above and beyond in my social life. Try and fail. Trauma dump to complete strangers in order to feel connected to them. Go on the date and feel an immediate sense of delusional happiness only to get dumped with a post-it note. Agree to a bet that ultimately led to me almost losing the love of my life. Of course I'd be willing to do all of this if it led to immense happiness in my love life and career!
But those thoughts come from someone who had Andi and Carrie on their screen when they were a teenager. I'm 30 now and the romanticized, rose-colored glasses have to get a new prescription.
I don't need to over-share aspects of my life with anyone, let alone complete strangers, in order to feel validated. I don't have to detail every single aspect of my social life, professional work, mental health etc. with Joe Shmo or my closest friends if I'm not comfortable with it. In fact, I'm finding that privacy can actually be a super-power because no one knows what my next move will be! And no outside thoughts, opinions or experiences can cloud my own intuition.
This is all to say that you know yourself best. And even if it's second nature to over-communicate with peers or seek advice from people who know you like the back of your hand, you ultimately need to rely on yourself. It can be nice to lean on a community when times are difficult, but it's even better to trust your own inner voice - even if that voice sounds like Kate Hudson and Sarah Jessica Parker at times.
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