Sometimes therapy just doesn't hit like it should. I find myself saying, "ugh this session isn't going anywhere" half-way through appointment pretty regularly. To no one's fault! I know that this is totally normal because expecting that all sessions will lead to lightbulb moments and overwhelming epiphanies is extremely unrealistic. But thanks to being in and out of therapy for the last few years, I also know how to seek out therapeutic moments in my day-to-day life - or at least in between sessions.
Do NOT underestimate the power of a good cocoon. As someone who thinks they have to be on the go every second, I have found immense contentment in melting into my couch. Relaxing my mind leads to my brain taking a much-needed break too. And on the flip side, being temporarily rid of distractions can lead to a really good ugly cry. Which is just as necessary at times! Put on some cozy clothes, light a fragrant candle, curl up in a warm blanket and see what happens! Bonus: temporarily secluding yourself can also remind you what activities, what people and what places you really love, cause you'll start to miss them! But more on that later...
Shake up your daily routine! Even if it's just walking a different route to the train station, trying a new coffee shop or catching up with a friend you haven't seen in a while. Getting away from the mundane routine of day to day life can seriously improve your mood.
Find a creative outlet. For me it's writing (duh). But I'd be interested to venture into new creative places like pottery, photography, dancing, sewing, pottery etc.
Take yourself on a date! Solo dates are THE BEST. But sadly, most of us don't go on solo dates until a therapist encouraged us to do so - most likely when we're fresh off of a breakup (my therapist to me circa Fall 2019). But as I write this, I'm sitting at a bar by myself in Bucktown while my boyfriend is back at our home with our dog. Solo dates are truly so much fun, single or not! They are a perfect way to remind yourself that YOU are the only person that you'll be spending your entire life with. So it's absolutely crucial to check in with yourself. The quietness of solo dates can allow for this! Because it allows you to think about what really matters, what makes you happy and, honestly, you may also find yourself thinking about who you would like to spend this kind of extended time with. To my earlier point, you can kind of think of this as cocooning... in public? Because of this, I highly recommend freshening up a bit, throwing on some makeup, trying on a new outfit and treating yourself to quality time with yourself.
Make a serotonin [play]list. Realistically, I should be doing this particular bullet point every day. But if you actively do this at least every few weeks, I promise it will make a difference. Open your notes app in your phone and start jotting down every single thing that made you smile. A cute dog in the neighborhood, something funny you saw on the bus, a compliment from your partner, a funny moment with a friend, the cute coffee mug you drank from this morning, the sound of your mom's laugh - whatever! Jot it down. Before you know it, Murphy's Law will be in full effect and good things, moments and people will just become attracted to you. Likewise, start making a playlist of songs that make you happy. I literally have a Spotify playlist dedicated to songs that make me want to strut around town, dance like a fool and scream at the top of my lungs. Some are random one-hit wonders, some are diva balads full of notes/runs that I can't even hit and some are indie songs that remind me of being a teeanger. But the common theme is, that each song makes me cheese from ear to ear - and that's all that matters to me. Ask me for the link and I'll send it to you in a heartbeat.
Do something quick! Ready? Here's a list of things you can do in just a few minutes that can potentially positively impact the rest of your day: buy yourself flowers, have a dance party, put on comfy clothes, declutter your apartment, bake something yummy, look at funny cats on TikTok. Let me know if I missed anything!
Alright fuck it! Indulge a little! Book a fancy reervation, splurge on a boujee dress, buy a plane ticket. Life is too short and your happiness is MOST important! Gettjng wrapped up in the stress of work, relationships, mental health lulls etc, can unfortunately make us forget that. Sometimes you have to (temporarily) throw caution to the wind and do something that brings you instant gratification. Or at least a really crazy, goofy ass memory.
What are your therapy alternatives? Lord knows that the Winter Blues in Chicago are rough so I'd love to add more to this list!
Comments